Table for Two?

You may have noticed that a little “rant” occasionally appears on my blog. Like other posts, it’s offered in the spirit of connection—with the hope that some reader somewhere will smile or nod in recognition of a shared experience, a similar feeling, or in this case, a frustration.

Once upon a time (yes, time, that precious commodity), you could call a restaurant to reserve a table. Not so much anymore.

Excited by the cautious return of local live music, but particularly eager to hear a friend perform, I went to the venue’s website to confirm the time. Once there, I was encouraged to make a reservation online. Hmmm. Well, since I’m already here. Okay. Click.

The page didn’t seem to offer me the option of a table inside or outside (the music was going to be outside) so I thought I’d just scroll down to the contact info and give them a call. A recording answered with the usual voice menu options. I pressed the number most likely (I thought) to connect me to a live person. No luck. It went to voice mail. I’m already feeling the social distancing and I’m not even there yet.

Back to the reservation page where I select a time and party of two. Now it wants my email address and mobile phone number. Okay, fine. I guess that’s a small inconvenience for providing a text box that allows me to enter “outside near the music please.” See how they get you?

As soon as I hit “submit,” I hear my husband’s cell phone go off with a text message. He’s working outside in the garden and left it on the kitchen table. Smart man.

I check his phone and realize I’d entered his cell number by mistake. Did I mention his is a flip phone? The message asks me to click on a link to confirm the reservation. Can’t do that. He has no internet or data service. I carry the phone back to my office and type the link, one alphanumeric character at a time, into my browser bar. Fingers crossed, I click “enter” whereupon a message appears telling me I need to DOWNLOAD AN APP to confirm this reservation. Are you frigging kidding me?

His phone is beeping again, asking me to click the link. I take a deep breath, go back to the venue’s website and dial their phone number. Again. Thankfully, after I press a voice menu option, a person answers and I’m able to confirm the reservation.

His phone beeps again. This time it says, “reply STOP to end messages.” Gladly.